These Jokes Are Not Here To Offend AnyOne
With All That Is Going On In This World
If You Can't Take A Few Minutes Out Of Your Life For A Little Laughter
Then You Need To Get A Life
The Brunette, Blonde And Red Head
Do The Breaststroke
There was a competition to swim from Santa Monica to Catalina
Doing only the breaststroke
The only three women who entered the race were a Brunette
A Redhead and a Blonde
After approximately 14 hours, the Blonde staggered up on the shore
She was declared the fastest breaststroker
About 40 minutes later, the Redhead crawled declared the second place finisher
Nearly 4 hours after that, the Brunette finally came ashore
And promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete
the race
She replied
"I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser
But I think those two other girls were using their arms"
The brunette had been married about a year
One day the she came running up to her husband, jumping for joy
He didn't know how to react
So he started jumping up and down along with her
"Why are we so happy?" he asked
She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
"Great" he said, "tell me what you're so happy about"
She stopped, breathless from all the jumping up and down
"I'm pregnant!" she gasped
The husband was ecstatic as they had been trying for quite a while
He grabbed her, and kissed her
"Wow, that is wonderful," "I couldn't be happier"
Then she said, "Oh, honey there's more"
"What do you mean more?", he asked
"Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"
He was amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant
"How do you that," he asked
"It was easy," she said
"I went to the pharmacy and bought the 2 pack home pregnancy test kit"
"Both tests came out positive!"
Q. What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A. A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes
Q. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
A. No one else wants it
Q. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
A. Invisible
Q. What's a brunette's mating call?
A. "Has the blonde left yet?"
Q. What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
A. The invitation
Q. What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
A. A hostage
Q. Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
A. It matches their mustache
Q. Why are most brunettes flatchested?
A. It makes it easier to read their T-shirt
Q. Why do brunettes like their dark hair color?
A. It doesn't show the dirt
Q. Why is brunette considered an evil color?
A. When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?
Q. Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
A. The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable
Q. Who makes bras for brunettes?
A. Fisher-Price
Q. Is it tru blonds have more fun?
A. No, they have ALL the fun
Q. How can you tell a brunette is lonely?
A. Check her for a pulse
Q. What is the most frustrated animal in the world?
A. A brunette rabbit
Q.Why do brunettes wear training bras?
A. Because it's cheaper than changing their bandaids everyday
Q. What's the difference between a brunette and the trash?
A. At least the trash gets taken out once a week
Q. Why does it take 5 brunettes to change a light bulb ?
A. To help out the blonde that's been tryin' for weeks
Q. What's a brunette that has dyed her hair ?
A. Artificial intelligence
Q. How do you recognize a brunette at the airport?
A. She's the one throwing bread at the airplanes
Q. Why does a brunette have a see-through lunchbox?
A. To know whether she's coming from or going to the office
Q. Why does a brunette have curtains on her PC?
A. To open windows
Q. Why does a brunette throw water on her keyboard?
A. To surf the internet
Q. Why was the first football stadium sketched out on a brunette's chest?
A. Because they needed a level playing field
Q. Why do brunettes put ice in their nose before they go to work?
A. So their lunch won't spoil
Q. How did Revlon come up with it's brunette hair color?
A. By studying what oil spills did to seaweed
Q. Why can't brunettes `tease' their hair?
A. Because it's not funny
Q. How can a brunette get lost in a crowd of three?
A. It's easy... if one-third of the crowd is blonde
A brunette is sitting in a canoe in the middle of a corn field rowing
An older brunette drives by and yells at her out the window
"It's you young brunettes that make us look so dumb
If I knew how to swim, I would swim out there and tip you over!!"
Recommend Rasky's Site To A Friend!
COPYRIGHT © 2000-
RASKY'S VIETNAM MEMORIAL
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Do The Breaststroke
Doing only the breaststroke
The only three women who entered the race were a Brunette
A Redhead and a Blonde
After approximately 14 hours, the Blonde staggered up on the shore
She was declared the fastest breaststroker
About 40 minutes later, the Redhead crawled declared the second place finisher
Nearly 4 hours after that, the Brunette finally came ashore
And promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race
She replied
"I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser
But I think those two other girls were using their arms"
The brunette had been married about a year
One day the she came running up to her husband, jumping for joy
He didn't know how to react
So he started jumping up and down along with her
"Why are we so happy?" he asked
She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
"Great" he said, "tell me what you're so happy about"
She stopped, breathless from all the jumping up and down
"I'm pregnant!" she gasped
The husband was ecstatic as they had been trying for quite a while
He grabbed her, and kissed her
"Wow, that is wonderful," "I couldn't be happier"
Then she said, "Oh, honey there's more"
"What do you mean more?", he asked
"Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"
He was amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant
"How do you that," he asked
"It was easy," she said
"I went to the pharmacy and bought the 2 pack home pregnancy test kit"
"Both tests came out positive!"
Q. What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A. A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes
Q. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
A. No one else wants it
Q. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
A. Invisible
Q. What's a brunette's mating call?
A. "Has the blonde left yet?"
Q. What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
A. The invitation
Q. What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
A. A hostage
Q. Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
A. It matches their mustache
Q. Why are most brunettes flatchested?
A. It makes it easier to read their T-shirt
Q. Why do brunettes like their dark hair color?
A. It doesn't show the dirt
Q. Why is brunette considered an evil color?
A. When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?
Q. Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
A. The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable
Q. Who makes bras for brunettes?
A. Fisher-Price
Q. Is it tru blonds have more fun?
A. No, they have ALL the fun
Q. How can you tell a brunette is lonely?
A. Check her for a pulse
Q. What is the most frustrated animal in the world?
A. A brunette rabbit
Q.Why do brunettes wear training bras?
A. Because it's cheaper than changing their bandaids everyday
Q. What's the difference between a brunette and the trash?
A. At least the trash gets taken out once a week
Q. Why does it take 5 brunettes to change a light bulb ?
A. To help out the blonde that's been tryin' for weeks
Q. What's a brunette that has dyed her hair ?
A. Artificial intelligence
Q. How do you recognize a brunette at the airport?
A. She's the one throwing bread at the airplanes
Q. Why does a brunette have a see-through lunchbox?
A. To know whether she's coming from or going to the office
Q. Why does a brunette have curtains on her PC?
A. To open windows
Q. Why does a brunette throw water on her keyboard?
A. To surf the internet
Q. Why was the first football stadium sketched out on a brunette's chest?
A. Because they needed a level playing field
Q. Why do brunettes put ice in their nose before they go to work?
A. So their lunch won't spoil
Q. How did Revlon come up with it's brunette hair color?
A. By studying what oil spills did to seaweed
Q. Why can't brunettes `tease' their hair?
A. Because it's not funny
Q. How can a brunette get lost in a crowd of three?
A. It's easy... if one-third of the crowd is blonde
A brunette is sitting in a canoe in the middle of a corn field rowing
An older brunette drives by and yells at her out the window
"It's you young brunettes that make us look so dumb
If I knew how to swim, I would swim out there and tip you over!!"
Recommend Rasky's Site To A Friend!
COPYRIGHT © 2000-
RASKY'S VIETNAM MEMORIAL
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Recommend Rasky's Site To A Friend!
RASKY'S VIETNAM MEMORIAL
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED