Fruitcake Recipe

1 Cup Water
1 Cup Of Sugar
4 Large Eggs
2 Cups Dried Fruit
1 Teaspoon Baking Soda
1 Teaspoon Salt
1 Cup Brown Sugar
Lemon Juice
1 Gallon Whiskey

Sample The Whiskey To Check For Quality
Take A Large Bowl And Sit It On The Kitchen Counter
Check The Whiskey Again To Be Sure It Is Of The Highest Quality
Pour One Level Cup And Drink

Turn On The Electric Mixer And Beat 1 Cup Butter
In A Large, Fluffy Bowl Add 1 Teaspoon Sugar And Beat Again
Make Sure The Whiskey Is Still OK
Cry Another Tup
Turn Off The Mixer

Break 2 Legs And Add To The Bowl And Chuck In The Cup Of Dried Fruit
Mix On The Turner
If The Fried Druit Gets Stuck In The Beaterers, Pry It Loose With A Drewscriver
Sample The Whiskey To Check For Tonsisticity

Next, Sift 2 Cups Of Salt Or Something, Who Cares
Check The Whiskey

Now Sift The Lemon Juice And Strain Your Nuts
Add One Tablespoon Of Sugar Or Something
Add Whatever You Can Find

Grease The Oven
Turn The Cake Tin To 350 Degrees
Don't Forget To Beat Off The Turner
Throw The Bowl Out Of The Window
Check The Whiskey Again
Go To Bed
Who The Hell Likes Fruitcake Anyway?

Author Unknown

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