'Twas The Month After Christmas

'Twas The Month After Christmas
And All Through The House
Nothing Would Fit Me Not Even A Blouse
The Cookies I'd Nibbled, The Eggnog I'd Taste
At The Holiday Parties Had Gone To My Waist

When I Got On The Scales There Arose Such A Number!
When I Walked To The Store, Less A Walk Than A Lumber
I'd Remember The Marvelous Meals I'd Prepared
The Gravies And Sauces And Beef Nicely Rared

The Wine And The Rum Balls
The Bread And The Cheese
And The Way I'd Never Say
"No Thank You, Please"

As I Dressed Myself In My Husband's Old Shirt
And Prepared Once Again To Do Battle With Dirt
I Said To Myself, As I Only Can
"You Can't Spend A Winter Disguised As A Man!"

So Away With The Last Of The Sour Cream Dip
Get Rid Of The Fruit Cake, Every Cracker And Chip
Every Last Bit Of Food That I Like Must Be Banished
Till All The Additional Ounces Have Vanished

I Won't Have A Cookie, Not Even A Lick
I'll Want Only To Chew On A Long Celery Stick
I Won't Have Hot Biscuits Or Corn Bread Or Pie
I'll Munch On A Carrot And Quietly Cry

I'm Hungry, I'm Lonesome And Life Is A Bore
But Isn't That What January Is For?
Unable To Giggle, No Longer A Riot
Happy New Year To All And To All A Good Diet!

Author Unknown

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