We Remember The OutHouse
Yes We Do!!!!
Aunt Dixie, Poppa Chuck And Me Too

As A Kid I Remember
The OutHouse In July And December

The Flies And The Aroma In The Summer
Whoa, What A Bummer

The Cold Seat In The Winter Time
As I Sat And Froze My Behind

My Breath Would Hang In The Air
And My Teeth Would Chatter
I Wanted To Go Back To Bed And Get Out Of There

Uh Oh!!
Toilet Paper I Did Not Bring
Now I Know Why My Aunt And Uncle
Had An Alden's Catalog Hanging On A String

Or They Would Tell Me To Use The Corn Cobs If I Had To
Of Course, They Would Always Wink And Smile At Each Other
When They Would Say That
Because If I Used The Corn Cobs
It Would Be A Decision That I Would Rue

No! No!
I May Have Been A Little Kid
Corn Cobs No Way!!
That Wasn't Something I Was About To Do

Now As A Grown Man, I Want To Buy An OutHouse
So My Wonderful Memories Can Be Experienced By My Spouse
But She Put Her Foot Down And Said No
My OutHouse Plans She Did Douse

I Remember The OutHouse
Believe Me, I Do
And Some Day
If I Have My Way
She Will Too

OutHouse Memories
CopyRight 2000-
Rick "IrockBlue 6-6-06
Rasky's VietNam Memorial
All Rights Reserved

OutHouse Poem

The Service Station Trade Was Slow
The Owner Sat Around
With Sharpened Knife And Cedar Stick
Piled Shavings On The Ground

The Country Bards Were Present, Too
With Glittering Blade And Bough
Had I Retained The Things I Heard
I'd Be Much Wiser Now

No Town Facilities Had They
The Log Across The Rill
Led To A Shack, Marked His And Hers
That Sat Against The Hill

"Where Is The Ladies Restroom, Sir?"
The Owner Leaning Back
Said Not A Word But Whittled On
And Nodded Toward The Shack

With Quickened Step She Entered There
But Only Stayed A Minute
Until She Screamed
Just Like A Snake Or Spider Might Be In It

With A Startled Look And Beet-Red Face
She Bounded Through The Door
And Headed Quickly For The Car
Just Like The Three Gals Before

She Missed The Foot Log And Jumped The Stream
The Owner Gave A Shout
As Her Silk Stockings, Drooping Down
Caught On A Sassafras Sprout

She Tripped And Fell - Got Up And Then
In Obvious Disgust
Ran To The Car And Stepped On The Gas
And Faded Away In The Dust

Of Course We All Desired To Know
What Made The Gals All Do
The Things They Did And Then We Found
The Whittling Owner Knew

A Speaking System He'd Devised
To Make The Thing Complete
He Tied A Speaker On The Wall
Beneath The Toilet Seat

He'd Wait Until The Gals Got Set
And Then The Devilish Tyke
Would Stop His Whittling Long Enough
To Speak Into The Mike

And As She Sat, A Voice Srom Below
Struck Terror To Her Heart
"Will You Please Use The Other Hole"
"We're Painting Under Here!"

Author Unknown

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