Welcome To Rasky's Red Head Jokes

These Jokes Are Not Here To Offend AnyOne
With All That Is Going On In This World
If You Can't Take A Few Minutes Out Of Your Life For A Little Laughter
Then You Need To Get A Life

Q. How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
A. Say something

Q. How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
A. Wait 10 seconds

Q. If you love a Redhead, set her free
A. If she follows you everywhere you go
Pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital
She's yours

Q. What's safer, a redhead or a piranha?
A. The piranha. They only attack in schools

Q. How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend?
A. She has scratched "stay off MY TURF!" on his back with her nails

Q. What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A. Normal

Q. What does a redhead, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
A. Men always miss them

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A redhead!

Q. How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
A. She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl

Q. How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
A. There's a hammer embedded in the monitor

Q. What's safer: a redhead or a piranha?
A. The piranha. They only attack in schools

Q. How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead?
A. She unties you

Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy
One is to let her think she is having her own way
The other is to let her have it

I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife
The clerk was putting the finishing touches on my bouquet order
A young man burst through the door
He breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses
"I'm sorry," the clerk said
"This man just ordered our last bunch"
The desperate customer turned to me and begged
"May I please have those roses?"
"What happened?" I asked
"Did you forget your wedding anniversary?"
"It's even worse than that," he confided
"My wife's a redhead and I broke her hard drive!"

She Can't Sign On To AOL

The Confused RedHead

Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight

Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope

Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months
The box said "2 to 4 years"

Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out

When asked what the capital of California was She answered "C"

Baked a turkey for 3 days
Because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125

Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets

Got hurt while raking leaves
She fell out of the tree

Hated M & Ms because they were so hard to peel

Changed the baby's diaper only once a month
Because the label read
Up to 20 pounds

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